Monday, February 6, 2023

Two poets and a plain and simple thought about reality: each approaching it in such a different way. Do you see it?

First, US poet Louis Jenkins with his prose poem "Why," circling the question with an honest tenderness:

Why

I ask myself. Because when you finally need to go home this is the only place to go. And when you get there there's nothing; just a blank page. Well, maybe there's a patch of dry ground, underneath an old cottonwood tree, a bit of sun, a crow in the next field. You can add things or take them away. Youth was the age of acquisition. Now you find that there aren't many things you need, but the garage and attic are still full. I'm OK with the dirt and the cottonwood tree. It's not the bodhi tree, but my expectations are not high. The oceans are deep and dark and the briny water goes on for thousands of mile, but you only need a cupful or so to drown in.

...and then Norwegian poet Olav Hauge, getting right to the point:

Don't Give Me the Whole Truth

Don’t give me the whole truth,
don’t give me the sea for my thirst,
don’t give me the sky when I ask for light,
but give me a glint, a dewy wisp, a mote
as the birds bear water-drops from their bathing
and the wind a grain of salt.




Wednesday, December 29, 2021

Back to Back to Back, a Variant:

The first poem below was likely the inspiration for the two that follow, although there are surely many elegiac poems written in honor of Billie Holiday and/or smokey jazz clubs. What I see in the three are some rather subliminal but shared interests and sensibilities, but also some striking generational differences and differences in sensibilities.

Most curious to me is that at one time or another in my life I could have written either of the first two poems, albeit not as well, and that I did write the third and last poem at this time in my life.

The Day Lady Died

By Frank O'Hara
 
It is 12:20 in New York a Friday
three days after Bastille day, yes
it is 1959 and I go get a shoeshine
because I will get off the 4:19 in Easthampton   
at 7:15 and then go straight to dinner
and I don’t know the people who will feed me

I walk up the muggy street beginning to sun   
and have a hamburger and a malted and buy
an ugly NEW WORLD WRITING to see what the poets   
in Ghana are doing these days
                                                        I go on to the bank
and Miss Stillwagon (first name Linda I once heard)   
doesn’t even look up my balance for once in her life   
and in the GOLDEN GRIFFIN I get a little Verlaine   
for Patsy with drawings by Bonnard although I do   
think of Hesiod, trans. Richmond Lattimore or   
Brendan Behan’s new play or Le Balcon or Les Nègres
of Genet, but I don’t, I stick with Verlaine
after practically going to sleep with quandariness

and for Mike I just stroll into the PARK LANE
Liquor Store and ask for a bottle of Strega and   
then I go back where I came from to 6th Avenue   
and the tobacconist in the Ziegfeld Theatre and   
casually ask for a carton of Gauloises and a carton
of Picayunes, and a NEW YORK POST with her face on it

and I am sweating a lot by now and thinking of
leaning on the john door in the 5 SPOT
while she whispered a song along the keyboard
to Mal Waldron and everyone and I stopped breathing

The way I imagine it, Louis Jenkins read the Frank O'Hara poem back in his days at the university. He then let it slip into his subconscious mind to percolate. The poem, the prose poem, that emerged, years later, is called:

Jazz Poem

By Louis Jenkins

I always wanted to write one of those jazz poems. You know the kind, where it's three a.m.in some incredibly smokey, out of the way, little club in Chicago or New York, April 14, 1954 (it's always good to give the date) and there are only a few sleepy people left in the place, vacant tables with half-empty glasses, overturned chairs... and then Bird or Leroy or someone plays this incredible solo and it's like, it's like... well, you just should have been there. The poet was there and you understand that jazz is hip, intellectual, cool, but also earthy and soulful, as the poet must be, as well, because he really digs this stuff. Unfortunately, I grew up listening to rock and roll and decidedly unhip country music and it just doesn't work to say you should have been in Gary Hofstadter's rec room, July 24, 1961, sipping a Pepsi, listening to Duane Eddy's latest album and playing air guitar.


So, sometime within the last couple of years I read both of these poems, and liked them both a lot. They percolated in me, as good poems do, until about three months ago when, late one night or early one morning on 10/8/21, the following poem entered my mind. It addresses the two preceding poems and how they mesh, unavoidably, with my own experiences and sensibilities. The poem is called:

Outside the Five Spot Cafè, NYC

By Fred Staal

Not for me,
hiking into the tall timber,
pushing across the icy scree.
Nor, for that matter,
the tinkling ice
in a glass of scotch,
the smokey saxophones, and
Thelonious.

Yes, I stood outside the Five Spot Cafè
(2 St. Marks Place)
one cool night in 1965
(no way to even guess the specific date),
and listened a while,
as the notes filtered through the door
But I didn't go in...

Saturday, July 13, 2019

Fur Friends

This is a hard way to get back to "Back to Back"...
Jack the Cat passed away of natural causes early this morning.* He was 14. Melina had raised him, and his brother Billy, from when they were the tiniest kittens. We both are heartbroken. I'm glad we have some photos of him to remind us of his blessed presence in our lives. These photos, taken a month ago, truly and literally illustrate the "Back to Back"theme - or is it the "butt to butt" theme.



Jack and Zane were friends, and very familiar with each others foibles. Zane like to use his size and high energy, sometimes, to try intimidating Jack, but Jack was onto him and never took his act seriously. And Jack would get his revenge, teasing Zane by hanging around his food bowl - as if he would eat dog food! - or pretending to steal his toys. Neither of them much liked sharing Melina with the other, or with me. They adored her!
I don't think they were happier than when they could share the bed with Melina. And Melina felt likewise. Sometimes I would join the three of them, and they didn't seem to mind...

* https://mwstaal.blogspot.com/2019/07/black-jack-mcmew.html#comment-form

Saturday, December 2, 2017

Departure and Return

Into (and out of, sans glasses) the cold and fast-running Stanislaus River near Ripon, Ca. on May 28, 2008

Booty!
 

Infinite Love



 
First photo:
Taken by American W. Eugene Smith in 1971, the black-and-white photo depicts a mother cradling her severely deformed, naked daughter in a traditional Japanese bathroom. The mother, Ryoko Uemura, agreed to deliberately pose the startlingly intimate photograph with Smith to illustrate the terrible effects of Minamata disease (a type of mercury poisoning) on the body and mind of her daughter Tomoko.  At the wishes of Tomoko Uemura's family, the photograph was withdrawn from further publication in 1997, 20 years after Tomoko's death and the copyright for the photograph was granted to the Uemura family.


Second photo:
"Gramps" details the final years of coal miner Frank Tugend’s life, which he spent in the care of his family. Tugend suffered from generalized arteriosclerosis in the years before his death and required assistance from his grandsons for virtually every task.
In the photo, Dan Jury is seen cradling his grandfather in the year 1974. “On February 11, 1974, Frank Tugend, aged eighty-one and of dubiously sound mind- but certainly of sound body – removed his false teeth and announced he was longer going to eat or drink. Three weeks later to the day, he died.”

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Leaves and Loves

I've decided I don't want to speculate or ruminate on the relationship or affinities of these two photos. A whole lot of living has gone on in the 14 years between their creation. I just want to show them together.


Melina Wade Staal, taken November 15, 2017


Edna Milagros Staal-Robles, taken December 12, 2003

Beyond the Road's Edge

A little over 20 years ago I wrote a poem called "By Day, By Night" about humans believing they own the world, that anything they can see belongs to them. But, the world is more than our property, it is an entity that has not relinquished its claim to itself. It cannot be owned - that is only a fantasy that man entertains in his arrogance.


By Day, By Night

By day, the winding mountain road presents many vistas,
And all we see becomes our own.
By night, our headlights barely reach the shoulder.
And in darkness, the earth moves to take back its own.


Then, just a few years ago I ran across this poem by David Ignatow for the flip side. It seems he feels that suburbia is intimidating; I don't see the natural world as intimidating, more as powerful and benign. Still, reading these two poems feels to me like looking at the same scene from very different angles. Beyond that, I was struck by the commonality of the image of car headlights and the road. In Ignatow's poem, the light is constrained "timidly" to the center of the road; in mine the light is unable to penetrate the "primeval" darkness beyond the road's shoulder.


Suburbia

The silence of the suburb
its woods primeval dark.
Cars drive through,
their lights
timidly centered
straight down the road.


(David Ignatow)

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Globes

My sister-in-law posted this on FaceBook a couple days ago to celebrate Earth Day:

I had a flashback to a piece of artwork I did back in the very early 1960s. Besides the basic concept, what surprised me was how similar our globes are.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Full Dorsal.

You can get away with anything,


 Esquire magazine, April 2015

if you wait long enough:

Two Virgins album, November 1968

Friday, March 27, 2015

Tanks for the Memories...


My1934 Ford 1-ton  truck has carried a wide variety of goods during my tenure as its owner (1971-present), when its doors bore the "Demon Hauling" business name and a variety of painted-over phone number testifying to my frequent changes of residence). Before I acquired the truck in 1971 I think it spent most of its life hauling boxed prunes and apricots around one of the many orchards around Almaden California (in the then lush Santa Clara Valley). All the stuff I hauled and all the places I went in this truck is another tale altogether. In this post, I'm focusing on a specific type of cargo: water storage tanks.
From the mid-1980s into the early 1990s, I lived in Mariposa, California with Edna and our kids (Aischa, Gabriel, Nicolas). As part of my "Carpentry Etc." business I did occasional work for Sylvia Schaefer (not sure of the spelling of her last name) who owned a local and free "penny-saver" paper (with her husband Jim) that competed for a while with the historic Mariposa Gazette. The Schaefers lived on a hilltop near town and their land had water problems; that is, they had drilled several wells over time to find a reliable water source and none of them produced much water. This lack was complicated by the fact that Sylvia liked to garden. So I created for them a complicated  plumbing and electrical system that linked all the wells and turned each one on when there was water available. The system worked well enough that the Schaefers decided they wanted a larger storage tank to capture the output. They found a used one that was for sale in Catheys Valley by Rita and Tony Kidd. My job was to haul it and install it. Thus, the photo below, taken by Sylvia as I struggled to get the heavy steel tank off my truck and avoid any loss of control could have sent that tank charging downhill uncontrollably - to the detriment of the tank and my reputation. So, I used a lot of ropes and proceeded with extreme caution. And, eventually the tank was landed safely on its bed of gravel and railroad ties.

Fast forward to 2015 (!) and the place Melina and I live on Triangle Road in Mariposa. Last year we installed a 2500 gallon tank as a water/fire-fighting reserve. This tank draws from our main well and, through a booster pump, feeds the house and Melina's gardens. Because of the drought we have experienced here for the last couple of years, we both have thought a lot about ways to save rain water, reuse gray water, and possibly pump water from an old, shallow well on the property. We haven't gotten very far on the plans and details, but when I saw a 1500 gallon tank for sale over in Ponderosa Basin (on the fb SWAP Mariposa page) we knew we had to get it.  As you might guess in this dry region, tanks are in big demand these days and used ones don't come up for sale very often. So I immediately agreed to the selling price and committed to pick it up ASAP. Saturday morning (3/21/15) found us rambling down Triangle Road in the very same Demon Hauling truck. At the place, a young man came out of the house to watch us load it. He volunteered that we might want to turn it on its side and roll it onto the truck bed. But, I wanted to load it right side up (and have it sitting flat on its bottom for more stable travel) and so we pushed and winched it up three 4x4 skids on the back of the bed, only to find, with the tank half on and half off, that the tank's diameter was a few inches larger that the distance between the stake sides of the truck. Just a bit embarrassed, I volunteered that he was right. And so,we let it slide back down, tipped it on its side, and rolled it up and onto the bed. We then spent about a half and hour strapping it down. The photo below shows it at our place, near the house and gardens. FYI, unloading a plastic tank is a lot easier than unloading a big steel tank; Melina and I handled it easily. Just where it will eventually be installed and how we will use it and supply it remain to be discovered. The adventure has just begun!


Friday, December 12, 2014

Sycamores, Then and Now

Etching, made in May, 1963, of a sycamore on a creek West of Gilroy, Ca. 
(The etching was made on the press at Foothill Junior College (in Los Altos, Ca.) where I was a first-year student.)


 
Sycamore at bark on a tree at our home in Mariposa, Ca.
(Photographed after a heavy rain on December 12, 2014)

Back to Front - On the Water

A mashup: Nick, Bear, and me in Dad's rowboat on the Merced Falls Diversion Dam - and - Gabe waterskiing behind my boat on the Sacramento River.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

We'll Never Know...

The subjects of these two poems seem to have little in common, but within each is this feeling about things we will never know; just a feeling...

In Praise of my Sister

by Wislawa Szymborska

My sister does not write poems
and it's unlikely she'll suddenly start writing poems.
She takes after her mother, who did not write poems,
and her father, who also did not write poems.
Under my sister's roof I feel safe:
nothing would move my sister's husband to write poems.
And though it sounds like a poem by Adam Macedoński,
none of my relatives is engaged in the writing of poems.

In my sister's desk there are no old poems
nor any new ones in her handbag.
And when my sister invites me to dinner,
I know she has no intention of reading me poems.
She makes superb soups without half trying,
and her coffee does not spill on manuscripts.

In many families no one writes poems,
but when they do, it's seldom just one person.
Sometimes poetry flows in cascades of generations,
which sets up fearsome eddies in family relations.

My sister cultivates a decent spoken prose,
her entire literary output is on vacation postcards
that promise the same thing every year:
that when she returns,
she'll tell us, everything,
everything,
everything.


Tape Message 

by Fred Staal

There was a message
in the cassette tape I bought,
at the yard sale, in that dusty little town,
just a block off the river road.
The music is long forgotten,
but on a card inside the case, neatly printed:
    Keith and Judy-
    Have a great adventure!!
    I look forward to hearing from you,
    Arnaz

OK, at least now
I know your names,
hidden away in that anonymous little town,
then going away on great adventures,
or at least one, anyway.
Writing postcards,
and a couple brief, indifferent letters to Arnaz:
about the long hike to the ruins,
the two days of unimaginable intestinal distress,
and the last two days, balmy and languid;
Ah, symmetry.

And then again:
tedious hours in a stuffy airplane
and the tiresome drive...
back to the little town and
that little old house,
and the relief
of its simple walls,
dark and cool,
bearing tales of excitement,
and memories of other simple walls,
colorful and exotic,
of unfamiliar flora,
of disturbing fauna,
and so much sun...

How can this have happened
and I don't know a thing about it?
Or how much more I should explain!


Note: In Praise of My Sister is translated from the Polish by Magnus J. Krynski and Robert A. Maguire. I found it in "A Book of Luminous Things" - a lovely anthology of poetry edited by Czeslaw Milosz.


Saturday, October 4, 2014

Halloween and Family History


This is a story about family Halloween photos...
 In June of 1984 Edna and I sold our home and embarked on a big trip to find a new one. We traveled in a 1974 Chevy van that had once been John Lee Hooker's band bus. I bought it from his son's girlfriend, who acquired it as a gift after it had been in a wreck while on a tour in Idaho and somehow managed to limp home to Gilroy. I fixed up the van and added a big bed that filled the back of the van (for Nick, Edna, and me). It was built about a foot and a half above the floor so we could store clothes, food, and cooking gear underneath. At window level I added a small bed behind the driver's seat for Gabe and another across the back for Aischa. Thus we traveled for months and months. October's end and Halloween found us in Texas, having fled West from the ravenous mosquitoes of Louisiana's coast. Towards dusk, in a small town whose name I no longer remember, we located a park with picnic tables where we could fix dinner. Edna brought out a pumpkin we had bought along the way and we encouraged the kids to have a go at opening it up and carving the face. When it was done, I got the urge to capture the moment on our Polaroid camera. I opted to pose them as three human heads and one pumpkin head (turned out to be a Halloween tradition we subsequently followed for several years). I always wondered where the inspiration for that shot came from.

Fast forward 30 years. A marriage to Melina and a move to Mariposa brought to the surface an anonymous cardboard box that turned out to be holding old photos my Dad had collected for me. Some were from the days of my earliest memories, that is, the late 1940s. There were photos of my brother Mickey and me with cowboy hats and six-guns, posing behind a tumbleweed, and others of us hanging out in the front yard. Amongst those was this shot. That is me behind the stone wall lining our circular driveway. And that's Main Street in El Cajon behind me, along with the back of the signboards advertising the Bella Rosa Trailer Park and a big open field. My Dad (and Al Johnston) owned the Bella Rosa and he named it in honor of his wife/my mother Rosalie, and he managed it from our home in the front. In those days, we were surrounded by small farms and open land, all the way to those mountains in the background (need I add that Main Street in El Cajon is no longer quite so bucolic).

There is no information on the print, but I'd guess it was Halloween, 1948. And that's me, one human head, with three pumpkin heads, and the likely inspiration for my 1984 Polaroid. Only took 66 years for me to work all this out. Weird, huh?


 Closer...

Oh, I mentioned that Main Street, El Cajon wasn't so bucolic anymore. Here's the view from our front yard now. 




 And here's what our front yard looks like now:
Actually, down a little side road to the right of this center, about a block back, there appears to be the remnant of a small trailer park, essentially just a strip of asphalt, some concrete: pads, and the occasional RV.
 ... and Google has this curious listing:

BELLA ROSA TRAILER PARK 619-442-7709 El Cajon CA ...

www.sbn.com/California/El-Cajon/.../BELLA-ROSA-TRAILER-PARK
Have you done business with BELLA ROSA TRAILER PARK in El Cajon, CA? If so, please provide a brief commentary or review to share your experience with ...

I still haven't worked up the nerve to give that phone number a call...

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Lines

A few months back, Melina and I really got to work on putting deer fence around her garden plots. I handled the simple stuff: setting the posts and helping string the 6 foot chicken wire. We both had a suspicion, however, that deer that were properly motivated (by water and juicy veggies and fruits) could and would jump the wire. So Melina decided to add a "confusion" fence, made up of 6 foot bamboo poles inserted at various angles in the chicken wire that would make the deer wonder about the judiciousness of leaping. But she couldn't help but make these additions a scuptural/artiistic enterprise, and the result is beautiful. It wasn't until I saw them in the afternoon light that I was reminded of an old painting of mine from the 60's that seemed echo the lines formed by the bamboo poles.
So, here's the fence:
  And here's a section of my old painting (it's too big for the scanner):

Monday, August 25, 2014

Pensive Cousins

Helen (Elena) and Edna

The Journey, Beginning and End (with Olav Hauge)

There Will Come a Time

 

There will come a time
when it is time to wander off.
Around me, people
laugh and cry and carry on.
Still, I am not of them;
I cannot be with them.
They don't yet know,
with the certainty that I am coming to know,
that there will come a time
when it is time to wander off.

The time for some is sooner,
the time for others later.
We do not know our time.
Then suddenly, before us,
a new and shining sea,
a fresh breeze,
and a little boat,
bidding us to sail.

FS


It's the Dream

 

It’s the dream we carry in secret
that something miraculous will happen
that it must happen
that time will open
that the heart will open
that doors will open
that the rockface will open
that springs will gush–
that the dream itself will open
that one morning we’ll quietly glide into
some little harbor we didn’t know was there.

Olav Hauge 

Rest: Hafez and Me


Just Sit There

Just sit there right now.
Don't do a thing.
Just rest.

For your separation from God
Is the hardest work in this world.

Let me bring you trays of food
And something
That you would like to drink.

You can use my soft words
As a cushion
For your
Head.

Hafez



Invitation       

You're invited to the feast.
The table's piled high,
the food awaits by day and by night.
What's your pleasure?
If you're tired, let someone else's fingers
feed you grapes.
If you're hungry, be a two-fisted eater.
Its OK! We're all here to serve.
Right now fresh fruit is being peeled;
the dirty dishes swept away.
Look!
Tiny birds chase the crumbs at your feet.

 F. Staal

Friday, November 29, 2013

Calochortus

In some ways, my Dad and I are not so different...
1961                                                                     2013
Yup, both those flowers are Calochortus'.

Monday, November 18, 2013

Prayers

Melina discovered we had both written prayer poems...

Prayer

oh love,
i think of our words,
today's and yesterday's,
some sweet, some bitter,
and watch them all
rise as invocations
into the sun of our love.

i think of your lovely brown back,
bent to the sun as you garden
and feel my desire burn pure and clean
in the sun of our love.

i think of the petty and the fearful things in me,
and watch them burn to ashes
in the sun of our love.

oh love,
let us throw open the doors of our hearts,
let the light of this love
suffuse us, fill us, flood us.
let us live in this marvelous gift,
in the sun of our love.

Fred S


Prayer

beneath love's infinite sky,
green sway of pine and oak,
dancing golden and silver within clear blue eyes,
humbled on earth-stained knees,
back bent to the warming sun,
hands tuck sleepy seeds into dark soil,
always with a prayer---
may the winds be my breath,
and yours,
may the rains slake my thirst,
and yours,
may the sun light my soul,
and yours,
may this love root deep within my heart,
and in yours,
may this love's garden grow,
and we two remain one,
sustained on love's ever-flowering vine

Melina S